Let’s get one thing straight: Cycling is great. Fresh air, healthy lifestyle, low emissions – who wouldn’t support that? But what’s unfolding in and around Zurich is not a clever promotion of bike culture. No, it’s a full-blown, ideology-driven crusade. A crusade where bicycles reign supreme, and everyone else – motorists, pedestrians, even residents – can kindly shove off. Or, in proper Zurich fashion: get run off the road by a speeding e-bike.
The city and canton have declared unconditional allegiance to the Holy Bicycle Empire. It’s no longer just about encouraging people to cycle. Oh no – it’s a blind construction frenzy, a concrete-fueled obsession to pave over the world for two wheels. Why build just one bike lane when you can have three or four, side by side? Why stop at a modest 2-meter-wide strip when you can carve out 10 meters or more, even if it means squeezing everyone else into oblivion?
🚧 Exhibit A: Zurich’s Seestrasse – All Hail the Velocracy
Take Seestrasse heading out of Zurich between the end of Mythenquai and Wollishofen. Here, you’re blessed with not just one, but two dedicated bike lanes, one for each direction. Wonderful, right? But wait – cyclists also get the five-meter-wide pedestrian path running alongside the main road. So how many lanes are we talking? Three? Four? Five?! Why not a full Velobahn? And guess who’s left dodging high-speed e-bikers from behind on that supposedly “shared” path? Exactly – pedestrians. Especially the elderly and families with strollers. A masterclass in urban planning! 👏 🤡
And what about the motorists? They now crawl along what is arguably the worst road surface in all of Switzerland, a rickety patchwork quilt of asphalt, bouncing from pothole to pothole like it’s a poorly disguised suspension test course. Wedged between bike lanes on both sides and – oh right, how could we forget – a dedicated bus lane, they’re clinging to a sliver of road that, in some sections, isn’t even horizontal anymore. At one point, the lane bends upward like a makeshift banked curve, jury-rigged to squeeze in that precious bus corridor. Bravo again, Zurich!
⚠️ Exhibit B: Bürkliplatz – Take a stroll… if you dare
Right next to the kiosk by the ferry pier, city planners have boldly painted a turbo lane for bikes. It slices straight through one of the most tourist-heavy and scenic pedestrian zones in Zurich. It’s obvious that no one uses the pedestrian crossing nearby and is going to grab a bratwurst while waiting for the next boat, or line up to buy a ticket for the next round trip. 🤦 Add a couple of 45 km/h e-bikes blasting through and you have the perfect recipe for the next tragic accident. Bravo, Zurich! Your commitment to cycling knows no speed limits – or common sense. But hey, as long as the cyclists are happy, who cares about safety?
🚫 Exhibit C: When Zurich’s Bike Religion colonizes the Suburbs
But Zurich’s concrete crusade doesn’t stop at the city limits. Take a look at Küsnacht and Kilchberg, two lakeside communities just outside the city. The canton wants to ram through a so-called “Velovorzugsroute” (that’s Swiss for “bike highway with VIP status”) connecting Zurich with its suburbs, and guess what? It goes straight through residential streets and local centers that were never designed for high-speed, high-volume bike traffic.
These towns aren’t cycling-hostile. Quite the opposite – they already offer safe bike lanes, walkable neighborhoods, and well-integrated public transport. But now, entire streets are to be re-zoned and narrowed, parking spaces removed, sidewalks merged, and vehicle access restricted – all for the glory of the bike. As if commuters are suddenly expected to abandon their cars, vans, or public transport and pedal in from 15 kilometers out, uphill, through rain and snow.
Kilchberg and Küsnacht have pushed back with formal objections and legal challenges, rightly asking:
- What about safety for pedestrians and schoolchildren?
- What happens to traffic and parking for residents, local shops and businesses?
- Why bulldoze existing transport balance in favor of one single mode?
And here’s what city planners conveniently ignore: Many residents have deliberately chosen these suburbs because of the available car infrastructure. They’ve invested in homes, apartments, or businesses with parking options on the streets – because they need it. Be it tradespeople with equipment, field service workers, parents managing daily logistics, or just ordinary families doing a weekly grocery haul, they made long-term commitments based on the promise of accessible, car-friendly living.
Now, these communities are being told to surrender all of that, as if driving was just a temporary phase that must now be corrected. Spoiler alert: Not everyone is ready – or able – to hop on a bike.
This isn’t balance. It’s bike extremism. And those living just outside the city – in well-run, tax-contributing communities are getting steamrolled by this concrete tsunami of pro-velo ideology. Towns that actually value mobility choice and invest in all forms of transport are now forced to submit to Zurich’s (city and state) pedal-powered overlords.
What is happening here? Zurich is planning to install bollards across the road at the municipal border – presumably to fend off hostile vehicles from the suburbs. Welcome to the traffic-themed Middle Ages, where instead of collecting tolls at the city gate, we now sink steel posts into the asphalt. The idea? Simple: Only cyclists may pass freely – everyone else gets blocked. Literally. Just think about it: The city is deliberately cutting itself off from its neighboring communities, as if it were a sovereign microstate with barriers and entry permits. Here is my suggestion: In response, the surrounding municipalities should as well reinstate a hard border of their own – and charge a toll to every Zurich resident trying to leave. Maybe throw in a horse exchange and medieval tavern while we’re at it, just to complete the fantasy. ⚜️
🙄 Orchestrated by Who, Exactly?
Meanwhile, the planning elite seems to have lost all touch with reality. This is what happens when public policy is dictated by eco-activist bureaucrats who’ve never had to compete in a free market, who’ve never had to earn a living outside of taxpayer-funded institutions… never run a business, or meet a payroll. These are people who think their packages are delivered by unicorns, plumbers can cycle to job sites with a drill press strapped to their backs, and every person can switch to an e-bike once their car is “gently phased out.”
To them, roads are colonial relics. Cars are evil. And anyone who dares question this righteous velo-vision? Clearly a dinosaur – or worse – a CO₂ criminal. They believe they’re saving the planet, when in reality they’re just bulldozing over common sense.
❗Time for a Brake Check
This isn’t a rant against bikes. This is a call for balance. We need thoughtful infrastructure – YES, including great bike paths… but not at the expense of everyone else. Not at the cost of safety, accessibility, or mobility freedom. And certainly not by steamrolling local communities who dare to question the Gospel of the Bike.
So before the next 12-meter-wide “green express lane” appears where your sidewalk used to be, let’s ask: How many bike lanes is enough?
Just my 5 cents.
//Alex
alexreusch 